The 2016 holiday season was filled with nostalgia. Okay, okay, I know...all of them have been that way since Dad died but this year was especially poignant for me because I lost another very dear loved one.
Cassie Tanner passed away on Thanksgiving morning. It was news I never wanted to hear about my beloved "Myrtle". She was 95 years old and remained fiercely independent until the very end. I can't exactly recall when she officially grabbed this special place in my heart, I just know that I can't remember not knowing and loving her. Ours lives became intertwined through church work. I was a young(ish) first time staff member (director of youth and children) and she was the long time AA and bookkeeper. When I arrived in Hinesville, GA, Cassie was already in her 70s but you'd never have known it! She was sharp as a tack with a wit and charm to match! She was a southern lady in the truest sense of that term. I loved her immediately, although I think I had to grow on her but I did and she became one of my dearest and most trusted friends and THE most awesome roommate! We shared a very special bond.
Once we moved to the Atlanta area it was more difficult to visit in person but she was only a phone call away. She was always a night owl, which is one of the reason she and I were perfectly matched as roomies, so I would wait until the kids were in bed and the house was relatively quiet to call her. Often, she'd be watching David Letterman or the late news when I'd call. We'd talk for an hour sometimes two. Then, as we'd start to hang up...we'd both pause and one or the other of us would say, "I love you". I always loved how Cass told me she loved me...there was always a tone of intention. She meant for me to know that she loved me. Cassie was not a "gusher". She didn't throw words around all willy-nilly but when she said those three words to me...I knew she meant them.
I could go on and on about all the reason I treasure Cassie and the years spent knowing and loving her but I will save that for another time, perhaps. What I do want to say is that knowing her, loving her, being with her, having her trust me and confide in me and love me as if I was one of her very own forever changed the pattern of my life's tapestry. She made the colors of my life richer and deeper. She showed me the depth of true friendship...a shared bond that isn't diminished by time and space. I love Cassie...yes, LOVE in the present tense. Just because she is gone from my sight and removed from my reach doesn't change my love for her; that love reaches across the veil and will until we are together again in Heaven.
I miss her voice. I miss our talks. I miss knowing that she's rambling around at the Plantation. I miss my friend...immensely.
Hey Myrrrrrrtle...it's Les! I love you!
Monday, November 28, 2016
Monday, April 11, 2016
When life hands you lemons...
This journey called life is a beautiful broken journey. It's full of ups and downs, highs and lows and everything in between. When the journey is your own, it's often easier to deal with those peaks and dips but when it's happening around you to those you hold dear...well that's a totally different perspective.
The old adage, "when life hands you lemons make lemonade" comes to mind. It sounds so simple and yet so difficult. When life hands us lemons, the knee jerk reaction is to FIX IT! Fix that "thing", that situation or circumstance so that it goes the way WE see fit. GO RIGHT NOW AND FIIIIIIIIX IT! I've found that my attempts to "fix" usually just make things worse. Instead of rushing out to fix it the better thing to do is BE STILL. Just take a breath, be still and know that HE IS GOD! Nothing that happens in this life ever takes God by surprise! NOTHING!!! NO THING>>>EVER! He doesn't cause everything to happen but it all passes through His hands. He allows some things to teach us and help us grow. Other things happen because we try to control our own destiny instead of waiting and trusting...OH BOY, AM I EVER GUILTY OF THIS ONE!!! When you're in the middle of the "lemons" it's hard to see the way out so we just start stomping through those lemons all the while squirting that acidic juice in our wound/hurt/circumstance/situation, that only makes the hurt/circumstance/wound/situation worse! It only causes it to burn more...so did it help to stomp through the lemons? Nope, not one bit!
I struggle because, frankly, I'm a stomper and the older I get the more "stompy" I am! I know it and those close to me know it. If something is wrong I say confront and move on but that isn't always what God wants us to do. Yes, sometimes a little stomp through the lemons is what needs to happen. Confrontation isn't bad because it brings change but the confrontation doesn't have to be caustic - well timed confrontation brings about healthy and needed change. So when I feel the need to STOMP, that's the moment that I need to stop...take a breath...and BE STILL in His presence. Just wait and listen for His voice. Wait for His guidance; His Word...just be still and wait. If we wait for God's timing...the lemonade will be so much sweeter than if it was made by stomping through the lemons.
Lord, I know you're try to teach me to wait on You and to trust Your timing. It's so hard sometimes because what we see doesn't always match what we are claiming and believing. In those moments, we must simply be still and wait...and trust. I'm learning to trust You more, Lord Jesus but I still have a ways to go. Father, help me not to stomp through the lemons but wait on You because waiting on You makes the lemonade sooooo much sweeter.
So, Lord, when life hands us/ME lemons help us/ME just to step back and wait on You and not run ahead and make a sticky mess. In this life, there WILL BE LEMONS but oh what sweet lemonade YOU CAN MAKE if only we/I will BE STILL and WAIT, TRUSTING that You are already there!
Still learning to wait and trust,
Your beloved "stomper"
The old adage, "when life hands you lemons make lemonade" comes to mind. It sounds so simple and yet so difficult. When life hands us lemons, the knee jerk reaction is to FIX IT! Fix that "thing", that situation or circumstance so that it goes the way WE see fit. GO RIGHT NOW AND FIIIIIIIIX IT! I've found that my attempts to "fix" usually just make things worse. Instead of rushing out to fix it the better thing to do is BE STILL. Just take a breath, be still and know that HE IS GOD! Nothing that happens in this life ever takes God by surprise! NOTHING!!! NO THING>>>EVER! He doesn't cause everything to happen but it all passes through His hands. He allows some things to teach us and help us grow. Other things happen because we try to control our own destiny instead of waiting and trusting...OH BOY, AM I EVER GUILTY OF THIS ONE!!! When you're in the middle of the "lemons" it's hard to see the way out so we just start stomping through those lemons all the while squirting that acidic juice in our wound/hurt/circumstance/situation, that only makes the hurt/circumstance/wound/situation worse! It only causes it to burn more...so did it help to stomp through the lemons? Nope, not one bit!
I struggle because, frankly, I'm a stomper and the older I get the more "stompy" I am! I know it and those close to me know it. If something is wrong I say confront and move on but that isn't always what God wants us to do. Yes, sometimes a little stomp through the lemons is what needs to happen. Confrontation isn't bad because it brings change but the confrontation doesn't have to be caustic - well timed confrontation brings about healthy and needed change. So when I feel the need to STOMP, that's the moment that I need to stop...take a breath...and BE STILL in His presence. Just wait and listen for His voice. Wait for His guidance; His Word...just be still and wait. If we wait for God's timing...the lemonade will be so much sweeter than if it was made by stomping through the lemons.
Lord, I know you're try to teach me to wait on You and to trust Your timing. It's so hard sometimes because what we see doesn't always match what we are claiming and believing. In those moments, we must simply be still and wait...and trust. I'm learning to trust You more, Lord Jesus but I still have a ways to go. Father, help me not to stomp through the lemons but wait on You because waiting on You makes the lemonade sooooo much sweeter.
So, Lord, when life hands us/ME lemons help us/ME just to step back and wait on You and not run ahead and make a sticky mess. In this life, there WILL BE LEMONS but oh what sweet lemonade YOU CAN MAKE if only we/I will BE STILL and WAIT, TRUSTING that You are already there!
Still learning to wait and trust,
Your beloved "stomper"
Wednesday, March 23, 2016
Dad chose Jesus
For the past 3 and half-ish years, I've been asking "why"... why did Dad die? How could Jesus take him away from us when He knew how much we loved him? Why didn't God intervene and raise Dad up and make him whole in this world? I've spent more time than I should have asking these questions and yes, at times, doubting God's love and goodness. What I've come to realize is this; God didn't "take" Dad...
My mom shared a story with me and at the time I was like, "yeah, yeah, Dad chose Jesus...duh, that's why he's a preacher" but as that story has replayed in my mind over the last few years it finally sunk in...
My dad was always telling us how much he loved us - we never doubted his deep, abiding love for us. Mom was telling me about a conversation she and my dad had many years ago before I was born. She and Dad were talking about ministry and he expressed to her how much he loved her and what she meant to him then he came the "BUT"... "but if I ever have to choose between you and Jesus and what He's called me to do, I'll choose Jesus." At first thought, I was offended that Dad would say that to her but then I realized that's what God calls us to...to leave ALL earthly things/people/places and follow Him. Dad loved Mom and me with ALL of his heart...but his first love was Jesus...just as it should have been. I realize now, that my Dad didn't love the things of this world - he loved people and his desire was to lead them to Jesus...show them Jesus...be the hands, feet and heart of Jesus to all he encountered.
As I reflect on those words, I am reminded again that Jesus didn't "take" Dad from us...Dad CHOSE to go be with Jesus when given the chance. I shared this thought during the service dedicating the library at Cornerstone Church in Dad's memory. I had never really thought of it nor did I plan to say it, but God gave me those words in that moment and my mom repeated my words back to me at a moment when I was again questioning, "you should listen to your own words sometimes." LOL My Dad made the choice to go and be with Christ - face to face. This Savior whom he'd preached and taught about, this Father whom he'd loved wholeheartedly and served so faithfully - when given the opportunity to choose between this life and the next...Dad chose Jesus. He had made that choice long before that November day when he stood on the cusp of eternity. He chose Jesus and he followed after Him with reckless abandon in life until the day the Father scooped him up and carried him to Glory.
My Dad left me more memories than I could ever write down or tell but the most important thing he left me and all who knew him, was a legacy of love and faith. I knew my entire life that my dad loved me more than anything in THIS world. It made me strong, courageous and confident. How much more strong, courageous and confident I am in the love of Jesus Christ!! My dad didn't just tell folks to "lay down their nets" and follow Jesus...he showed them how to do it and do so with joy!
In the words of "Kojak", "who loves ya,baby?" The answer to that question is God, the Father, Son and Holy Spirit! He chose to love us even while we were yet sinners...WHO WILL YOU CHOOSE? I CHOOSE JESUS!
My mom shared a story with me and at the time I was like, "yeah, yeah, Dad chose Jesus...duh, that's why he's a preacher" but as that story has replayed in my mind over the last few years it finally sunk in...
My dad was always telling us how much he loved us - we never doubted his deep, abiding love for us. Mom was telling me about a conversation she and my dad had many years ago before I was born. She and Dad were talking about ministry and he expressed to her how much he loved her and what she meant to him then he came the "BUT"... "but if I ever have to choose between you and Jesus and what He's called me to do, I'll choose Jesus." At first thought, I was offended that Dad would say that to her but then I realized that's what God calls us to...to leave ALL earthly things/people/places and follow Him. Dad loved Mom and me with ALL of his heart...but his first love was Jesus...just as it should have been. I realize now, that my Dad didn't love the things of this world - he loved people and his desire was to lead them to Jesus...show them Jesus...be the hands, feet and heart of Jesus to all he encountered.
As I reflect on those words, I am reminded again that Jesus didn't "take" Dad from us...Dad CHOSE to go be with Jesus when given the chance. I shared this thought during the service dedicating the library at Cornerstone Church in Dad's memory. I had never really thought of it nor did I plan to say it, but God gave me those words in that moment and my mom repeated my words back to me at a moment when I was again questioning, "you should listen to your own words sometimes." LOL My Dad made the choice to go and be with Christ - face to face. This Savior whom he'd preached and taught about, this Father whom he'd loved wholeheartedly and served so faithfully - when given the opportunity to choose between this life and the next...Dad chose Jesus. He had made that choice long before that November day when he stood on the cusp of eternity. He chose Jesus and he followed after Him with reckless abandon in life until the day the Father scooped him up and carried him to Glory.
My Dad left me more memories than I could ever write down or tell but the most important thing he left me and all who knew him, was a legacy of love and faith. I knew my entire life that my dad loved me more than anything in THIS world. It made me strong, courageous and confident. How much more strong, courageous and confident I am in the love of Jesus Christ!! My dad didn't just tell folks to "lay down their nets" and follow Jesus...he showed them how to do it and do so with joy!
In the words of "Kojak", "who loves ya,baby?" The answer to that question is God, the Father, Son and Holy Spirit! He chose to love us even while we were yet sinners...WHO WILL YOU CHOOSE? I CHOOSE JESUS!
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