When God Leaves.

This world is broken. I mean broken in to a million pieces and those pieces often seem to be scattered as far as the east is from the west. Folks ask, "How could God let this happen?" Whether it's catastrophic events or little annoyances that grate on our nerves and wear on our faith; I am typically one of those "why-ers" but I've learned over the last six years, that the "why" of it all isn't coming on this side of Glory.

In those "why moments" I often find myself saying "Where are you, Lord?" I get so bogged down in the trial, the grief, the turmoil that I feel abandoned by God. When I begin to feel abandoned I get scared but instead of falling on my face before God and clinging to His hand and trusting His heart, I shake my fist at Him and yell and scream...I'm kinda emotional like that, ya know. I guess I think that if I go all psycho-Christian that it'll cause Him to spring into IMMEDIATE action! I mean, who wants a crazy, pre-menopausal woman yelling and screaming and shaking her fist? I shook my fist at God when my Dad passed away...it didn't change my circumstance and it provided no answers or comfort. I've shaken my fist at God when I felt like my children were facing giants that they shouldn't have to face at such a young age. I mean, the Lord probably looks at me and says,"Here she comes again. Gloves on." In those fist shaking moments, I feel desperate, scared and abandoned by God. What I'm learning is that He was, is and always will be RIGHT HERE WITH ME! He tells me so in His word. However, there's always a BIG ol BUT...BUT I can't see you working! I can't see the change! I can't feel Your presence! Why did you leave?

Then, I remember...He hasn't left. He's been with me all the time...working and moving behind the scenes like our preacher said several weeks ago. While we feel like we're on "pause" He is still working. You know what, I don't have to see it or feel it or even believe it...what I MUST do is TRUST HIM! Trust IN Him and trust Him! It's through the worst parts of life that our faith grows and we learn to become completely dependent on Him. When God leaves, we trust Him more! When God leaves we seek His face more fervently . When God leaves we begin to see that He never really left. We begin to see that all the while He was going before us, behind us, above us, under us, making the way. Clearing the path. Pruning and striping away all the crud that was keeping us/me from being in full fellowship and right relationship with Him. When God "leaves"...He refines us!

So the reality is God DOESN'T leave...but sometimes He waits for us to invite Him in.