This world is broken. I mean broken in to a million pieces and those pieces often seem to be scattered as far as the east is from the west. Folks ask, "How could God let this happen?" Whether it's catastrophic events or little annoyances that grate on our nerves and wear on our faith; I am typically one of those "why-ers" but I've learned over the last six years, that the "why" of it all isn't coming on this side of Glory.
In those "why moments" I often find myself saying "Where are you, Lord?" I get so bogged down in the trial, the grief, the turmoil that I feel abandoned by God. When I begin to feel abandoned I get scared but instead of falling on my face before God and clinging to His hand and trusting His heart, I shake my fist at Him and yell and scream...I'm kinda emotional like that, ya know. I guess I think that if I go all psycho-Christian that it'll cause Him to spring into IMMEDIATE action! I mean, who wants a crazy, pre-menopausal woman yelling and screaming and shaking her fist? I shook my fist at God when my Dad passed away...it didn't change my circumstance and it provided no answers or comfort. I've shaken my fist at God when I felt like my children were facing giants that they shouldn't have to face at such a young age. I mean, the Lord probably looks at me and says,"Here she comes again. Gloves on." In those fist shaking moments, I feel desperate, scared and abandoned by God. What I'm learning is that He was, is and always will be RIGHT HERE WITH ME! He tells me so in His word. However, there's always a BIG ol BUT...BUT I can't see you working! I can't see the change! I can't feel Your presence! Why did you leave?
Then, I remember...He hasn't left. He's been with me all the time...working and moving behind the scenes like our preacher said several weeks ago. While we feel like we're on "pause" He is still working. You know what, I don't have to see it or feel it or even believe it...what I MUST do is TRUST HIM! Trust IN Him and trust Him! It's through the worst parts of life that our faith grows and we learn to become completely dependent on Him. When God leaves, we trust Him more! When God leaves we seek His face more fervently . When God leaves we begin to see that He never really left. We begin to see that all the while He was going before us, behind us, above us, under us, making the way. Clearing the path. Pruning and striping away all the crud that was keeping us/me from being in full fellowship and right relationship with Him. When God "leaves"...He refines us!
So the reality is God DOESN'T leave...but sometimes He waits for us to invite Him in.
Thursday, June 27, 2019
Friday, March 15, 2019
Just Breathe
Sometimes we roll along and the world doesn't bother us. It seems that we are in complete harmony with the universe...nothing adversarial impending the journey and then BAM!!! Any and everything that could happen absolutely DOES and your standing there in the middle of a wildly spinning vortex frantically searching for the exit but nary an exit can be found. It's in these frantic moments that I have to remind myself who is REALLY in control. I have to remember in whom I put my trust and JUST BREATHE. However, more often than not, that's the last thing I remember to do. I often find that I allow myself to get caught up in the funnel cloud,losing sight of the Peace Speaker. In those moments when I allow the evil one to rob me of my peace I lose sight of the One who sings over me every day, the One who calms my fears with His love. When I allow myself to get stuck in the scary moments and willingly forfeit my peace and find myself breathlessly clawing my way through the swirling winds of the storm I give the evil one control. It's in those moments that my Heavenly Father sends a song, a scripture or someone who loves me across my path to point me back toward Him and I'm reminded to JUST BREATHE...to release the fear and doubt and embrace the promises of the One who loves me best
Tuesday, January 15, 2019
Defining moments
In life, there are those moments that define us. Moments that make us who we are or change our course...take us in a different direction. I've been thinking a lot about those kinds of moments lately and I've come to realize that many of them come as a result of a season of trial, doubt, sadness or discontent.
I think most of us go through life wanting to be "happy". We seek happiness. We try to create happiness for ourselves and those we love but what I've learned is happiness is situational. There are events, people, places, things that can make us happy for brief moments but those moments are fleeting. What happens between the "happies". That, my friends is called contentment. How do find contentment, you ask? We find it in the one who brings us peace. The one who is the Author and Finisher of our faith. The source of our joy even in tough times. Contentment is found in Jesus and being firmly planted in the center of His Will for our lives.
I've always heard that we make our own happiness but the facts are we aren't going to be HAPPY every minute of every day because happiness is an emotion brought on by our situation. CONTENTMENT is a state of being. Even in our unhappy moments there is joy and contentment in Jesus but we have to be willing to embrace it. Often times we runaway from contentment in pursuit of happiness. When will we realize that there is no lasting happiness without contentment. It's weird because we often associate content with complacent. Why do we do that? You can be completely content without becoming complacent. Content doesn't mean the absence of pursuit, drive and purpose. I think those things become MORE present when we find our contentment in Christ.
Many times in our walk with Christ we are asked, nudged, required to do things that aren't comfortable. We're asked to step outside of our norm and be brave. Many times, I've resisted...I mean SOOOOOO many times!! When we resist we delay what God has for us or we delay what God has for someone else for which we are the conduit.
Sunday the preacher used a quote from JFK's speech about landing on the moon.
"We choose to go to the Moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard; because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one we intend to win, and the others, too."
Sometimes,Christ wants us to stick with the hard thing simply because it’s hard. It’s like a refiner’s fire. We go through the hard time (fire) so that He can remove all those things that keep us from walking fully in abundant life. The refiner’s fire strips away all the ick which brings forth purity in spirit. It molds us and makes us more in His image and likeness. That refinement is not fun but it’s necessary and we all experiences it at various times throughout life. If we let it, the refinement will draw us closer to Christ and build our faith but we have to willing…even if it’s painful and uncomfortable to see it through and glean from the lessons God has for us. The Refiner’s fire is used to test our endurance of faith. We come out on the other side more radiant and grounded in our faith. We can look back and see all the places where the Father sustained us, gave us mercy, grace and peace. It’s difficult to discern it in the midst of the test but once we’ve come through…WOW!! Christ will ask us to do and be that which is not easy and He asks us to do and be these things BECAUSE they're hard...because doing and being that which He asks is for a greater good, to accomplish His will in our lives and through our lives to touch others. He will make us uncomfortable so that we have nothing else to rely but HIM!
We MUST learn to be content wherever we land! Happiness comes and goes but if we are looking for something to make us happy all the time…we'll spend our entire lives chasing something that isn’t attainable. No one is happy all the time because not all situations are happy. I mean, ya'll ... do you think Jesus wanted to die on the cross? No, He absolutely DID NOT want to go to the cross!! He knew that it was a horrible death. He knew that His Father wouldn't be able to look at Him...that he'd be forsaken, if only for that moment. He even asked if the cup could pass from Him but the answer was no. He had to go. There was a greater good that resulted in His temporary albeit excruciating suffering. Until we commit to Christ completely (even when the times/tasks are hard) we'll continue to chase happiness and contentment will allude us.
What will be THE defining moment in your life?
Psalm 66:10-12
I think most of us go through life wanting to be "happy". We seek happiness. We try to create happiness for ourselves and those we love but what I've learned is happiness is situational. There are events, people, places, things that can make us happy for brief moments but those moments are fleeting. What happens between the "happies". That, my friends is called contentment. How do find contentment, you ask? We find it in the one who brings us peace. The one who is the Author and Finisher of our faith. The source of our joy even in tough times. Contentment is found in Jesus and being firmly planted in the center of His Will for our lives.
I've always heard that we make our own happiness but the facts are we aren't going to be HAPPY every minute of every day because happiness is an emotion brought on by our situation. CONTENTMENT is a state of being. Even in our unhappy moments there is joy and contentment in Jesus but we have to be willing to embrace it. Often times we runaway from contentment in pursuit of happiness. When will we realize that there is no lasting happiness without contentment. It's weird because we often associate content with complacent. Why do we do that? You can be completely content without becoming complacent. Content doesn't mean the absence of pursuit, drive and purpose. I think those things become MORE present when we find our contentment in Christ.
Many times in our walk with Christ we are asked, nudged, required to do things that aren't comfortable. We're asked to step outside of our norm and be brave. Many times, I've resisted...I mean SOOOOOO many times!! When we resist we delay what God has for us or we delay what God has for someone else for which we are the conduit.
Sunday the preacher used a quote from JFK's speech about landing on the moon.
"We choose to go to the Moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard; because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one we intend to win, and the others, too."
Sometimes,Christ wants us to stick with the hard thing simply because it’s hard. It’s like a refiner’s fire. We go through the hard time (fire) so that He can remove all those things that keep us from walking fully in abundant life. The refiner’s fire strips away all the ick which brings forth purity in spirit. It molds us and makes us more in His image and likeness. That refinement is not fun but it’s necessary and we all experiences it at various times throughout life. If we let it, the refinement will draw us closer to Christ and build our faith but we have to willing…even if it’s painful and uncomfortable to see it through and glean from the lessons God has for us. The Refiner’s fire is used to test our endurance of faith. We come out on the other side more radiant and grounded in our faith. We can look back and see all the places where the Father sustained us, gave us mercy, grace and peace. It’s difficult to discern it in the midst of the test but once we’ve come through…WOW!! Christ will ask us to do and be that which is not easy and He asks us to do and be these things BECAUSE they're hard...because doing and being that which He asks is for a greater good, to accomplish His will in our lives and through our lives to touch others. He will make us uncomfortable so that we have nothing else to rely but HIM!
We MUST learn to be content wherever we land! Happiness comes and goes but if we are looking for something to make us happy all the time…we'll spend our entire lives chasing something that isn’t attainable. No one is happy all the time because not all situations are happy. I mean, ya'll ... do you think Jesus wanted to die on the cross? No, He absolutely DID NOT want to go to the cross!! He knew that it was a horrible death. He knew that His Father wouldn't be able to look at Him...that he'd be forsaken, if only for that moment. He even asked if the cup could pass from Him but the answer was no. He had to go. There was a greater good that resulted in His temporary albeit excruciating suffering. Until we commit to Christ completely (even when the times/tasks are hard) we'll continue to chase happiness and contentment will allude us.
What will be THE defining moment in your life?
Psalm 66:10-12
Wednesday, January 9, 2019
Transitions
Life is a series of transitions. We're always moving from one season of life into another. Most transitions are gradual and come and go without upsetting our apple carts. They happen quietly and go mostly unnoticed. However, there are those transitions that do upset the apple cart and some turn that sucker upside down and rip the wheels right off. Sometimes the transition is expected so we are able, in our feeble way, to prepare for it. Other transitions are sudden, abrupt and give us no warning or time to prepare. Those are the ones that send me into a tailspin. I do NOT like those transitions. Well, I'm not really a fan of transition at all because that means change and if I wanted things to change, well...
I look back at my life and I don't remember transitioning into adulthood (maybe I never did and that's the problem -LOL) but I can promise you that my folks remember. I know that my mother recalls all those moments of transition. The years I spent establishing who I was going to be and what I wanted to do and how I wanted to do it. I do recall we argued A LOT in the years of my transition from child to young adult. I just don't remember it as a transition...I remember it as my mom trying to ruin my life. ;) My poor dad spent most of those years being a referee/mediator. Now, when I recall those years, I see that it was a time of transition; one that my mom was fighting against and one that I was walking into with wide eyes of wonder and excitement. I think as parents, we all fight that transition. We want to keep our kids close so that we know they are ok but that's not how it works. We know that for God to do His thing in and through our children we have to let them go. UGH!!! It's hard to do but necessary.
Now I find myself on the parental side of the transition as my girl child is spreading her wings and becoming the young woman that God intends. It's waaaaay less fun on this side of that transition. I miss the car rides to and from practices and the nights laying on her bed listening to her tell me about everything going on. I miss being a part of the every day things. Knowing where she is, what she's doing and with whom. Our children go off to college and each time they return home they're a little more grown...a little more independent...a little less willing to share all the goings on and that makes me sad. However, it's exciting to see God at work in their lives...to watch as they become and do all that He has ordained them to become and do. It's most definitely a necessary albeit bittersweet season.
We're still adjusting to having a college kid and she's still adjusting to being a college kid. I couldn't be more proud of the way that our girl is navigating this season in her life. Her first semester of college was, at the very least, challenging. She arrived with a broken hand that just would not heal. She faced several obstacles that would have sent most 18 year olds home to mom and dad but not mine! She got up every day and took care of business...laid her fear and anxiety aside as best she could and worked her plan. She has done a great job "adulting" but I know that every day she "adults" moves her further from me and I know that this is the way it's supposed to be but I don't have to like it now do I?
I love every minute of being a mom to my two gifts! It's hard, exhausting, stressful but my, oh my it's THE best job EVER!! I know beyond any shadow of doubt that I have been a less the perfect mom...less than awesome...at times an absolute hot mess, but I can say that I've done my best to make sure my children know that they are loved...unconditionally. No, I didn't take monthly pictures when they were babies. I couldn't volunteer in their classrooms the I would have liked because I am a working mom. I didn't homeschool. I didn't always write little love notes to put in lunches or backpacks. What I did do is love them. Listen to them. Discipline them and I've told them EVERY SINGLE DAY that I LOVE THEM! Even on the days that I want to strangle them :) they know I love them...because I TELL and SHOW THEM. I hope that someday, when they are old and gray that they will think of me and giggle remembering some silly something I did or said. I hope that the memories they carry with them are sweet and fun and GOOD! Most of all I pray that they can say, "My mom loved me with her whole being and pointed me toward Jesus." If that's all they get from me...that will be enough.
I look back at my life and I don't remember transitioning into adulthood (maybe I never did and that's the problem -LOL) but I can promise you that my folks remember. I know that my mother recalls all those moments of transition. The years I spent establishing who I was going to be and what I wanted to do and how I wanted to do it. I do recall we argued A LOT in the years of my transition from child to young adult. I just don't remember it as a transition...I remember it as my mom trying to ruin my life. ;) My poor dad spent most of those years being a referee/mediator. Now, when I recall those years, I see that it was a time of transition; one that my mom was fighting against and one that I was walking into with wide eyes of wonder and excitement. I think as parents, we all fight that transition. We want to keep our kids close so that we know they are ok but that's not how it works. We know that for God to do His thing in and through our children we have to let them go. UGH!!! It's hard to do but necessary.
Now I find myself on the parental side of the transition as my girl child is spreading her wings and becoming the young woman that God intends. It's waaaaay less fun on this side of that transition. I miss the car rides to and from practices and the nights laying on her bed listening to her tell me about everything going on. I miss being a part of the every day things. Knowing where she is, what she's doing and with whom. Our children go off to college and each time they return home they're a little more grown...a little more independent...a little less willing to share all the goings on and that makes me sad. However, it's exciting to see God at work in their lives...to watch as they become and do all that He has ordained them to become and do. It's most definitely a necessary albeit bittersweet season.
We're still adjusting to having a college kid and she's still adjusting to being a college kid. I couldn't be more proud of the way that our girl is navigating this season in her life. Her first semester of college was, at the very least, challenging. She arrived with a broken hand that just would not heal. She faced several obstacles that would have sent most 18 year olds home to mom and dad but not mine! She got up every day and took care of business...laid her fear and anxiety aside as best she could and worked her plan. She has done a great job "adulting" but I know that every day she "adults" moves her further from me and I know that this is the way it's supposed to be but I don't have to like it now do I?
I love every minute of being a mom to my two gifts! It's hard, exhausting, stressful but my, oh my it's THE best job EVER!! I know beyond any shadow of doubt that I have been a less the perfect mom...less than awesome...at times an absolute hot mess, but I can say that I've done my best to make sure my children know that they are loved...unconditionally. No, I didn't take monthly pictures when they were babies. I couldn't volunteer in their classrooms the I would have liked because I am a working mom. I didn't homeschool. I didn't always write little love notes to put in lunches or backpacks. What I did do is love them. Listen to them. Discipline them and I've told them EVERY SINGLE DAY that I LOVE THEM! Even on the days that I want to strangle them :) they know I love them...because I TELL and SHOW THEM. I hope that someday, when they are old and gray that they will think of me and giggle remembering some silly something I did or said. I hope that the memories they carry with them are sweet and fun and GOOD! Most of all I pray that they can say, "My mom loved me with her whole being and pointed me toward Jesus." If that's all they get from me...that will be enough.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)